Je T'aime Tant
by the-straight-circle
Summary: Marissa Returns to Newport after 7 years. What would she do when she finds out Ryan erased her from his memory? Set after season 3. mainly on RM with lots of SS.
1. The  Illumination

**GENRE:** COMEDY/DRAMA

**DISCLAIMER:** None of the _The OC_ characters belong to me. I promise.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **This is my first try to write a fanfic so I would really appreciate your reviews. Tell me if I should continue or not. Thanks.

**TITLE:** THE ILLUMINATION (this could be extended to more chapters but it depends if you want me to)

Marissa Cooper felt shivers all over her slender body as she press the doorbell of the Cohen's mansion in Newport. She hasn't been back in the USA for the past seven years after sailing with her father, Jimmy, all over the world and eventually settling down in Bordeaux, France. Marissa made a life of her own from the seven years she was away and a lot has changed. Those accomplishments brought a smile across her face.

_Who would have thought._

It was Sandy who opened the door for her, surprised, he loudly greeted her, "Bonjour Mademoiselle!!!"

"Bonjour Sandy!" Marissa greeted back.

"Çava?" Sandy asked.

"Çava." Marissa answered back smiling.

There was an odd few seconds before Sandy snaps and says, "Pardonnez-moi mademoiselle but my French is pretty much non-existent so if we can go back to speaking in English, it will be much appreciated."

Laughing, Marissa says, "Oui…I mean yes." There was some staring. "Sandy, you'd let me in right?"

Sandy motions for Marissa to go inside, "Why of course Marissa! Welcome back to the town of the rich and insufferable!"

"That's a very warm welcome Sandy." Marissa told Sandy as they make their way to the kitchen.

"Of course. Twenty-six years of living here and I still hate this town."

_He __never changed, _Marissa thought to herself.

There were various voices coming from the kitchen and as they reach the kitchen, Summer's loud cheerful voice greeted Marissa: "Coop! Oh my god Coop! I missed you!". Marissa was so happy to see her bestfriend that she hugged Summer so tight until Summer told her, "Coop, you're crushing my boobs."

Everybody laughed and they released each other from their hugs. Julie hugged Marissa.

"Oh sweetheart I missed you! I thought you won't arrive until Friday!"

"You could have at least told us you're arriving. We could've picked you up at the airport." Neil added as he hugged Marissa.

Neil and Julie married seven months after Marissa left Newport. Marissa wasn't supposed to come but Julie and Neil insisted on her coming as Julie claimed it would be her last and final wedding. She'd stop on being Julie Cooper-Nichol-Roberts. It was the last time she saw everybody happy and together. _It was the last time she saw him happy._

After the wedding, Marissa immediately joined Jimmy back again on sailing and she never looked back. Every now and then, she'd receive emails and phone calls from Summer who's now her _sister_ –a name calling they like a lot but never got used to call each other. But what surprised Marissa the most is the immense closeness she developed with Julie even though they were seas and continents apart. Julie would visit Marissa in Bordeaux or they'd rendezvous in Paris with Neil, Kaitlin and Gareth for a weekend of shopping and bonding.

"I can't wait to get back so I decided to get an earlier flight. Besides, Dad and Francine will sail to Greece tomorrow…"

"Who's Francine?" Seth called out over the counter.

"Seth! I missed you! Well, Francine's dad's girlfriend of two years now." Marissa went to hug Seth.

"Wow! Somebody can still like Jimmy Cooper these days?" Seth said sarcastically.

"Marissa!!!" two kiddie voices shouted as they enter the kitchen. It was Gareth and Sarah. Gareth was born a year after Neil and Julie got married. He's the only boy among the Cooper-Roberts siblings and he's very much spoiled by Doc Roberts. Sarah on the other hand was also born almost at the same time as Gareth. Sandy and Kirsten would often point out that she's the best accident that ever happened inside the House of Cohens –a description that often leaves Seth feeling uncomfortable and squirming on the spot.

Marissa went over to hug the other people in the room: Kirsten, Anna, Gareth and Sarah. After a few minutes of the SOP of hello, hugs and how are yous, Kirsten asked everyone to sit down to eat lunch.

The lunch was a pleasant diversion for Marissa after the long flight back home which composed of getting able to finish Alessandro Baricco's Silk and getting to watch You've Got Mail and The Devil Wears Prada. She was so excited to get back that she didn't sleep at all. She thanked Kirsten for preparing a delicious lunch.

Surprised, Sandy told Marissa: "She was watching too much Martha Stewarts and Rachel Rays while you were away."

Marissa smiled at Kirsten in appreciation as Seth told her, "Apparently Martha Stewart is still alive. Only that she does the cooking and the crafting on a wheelchair. She actually ----"

Summer cut Seth off, "Cohen! Too much."

Marissa knows somebody's missing. Somebody important to her. _Very important to her_. Intending to know why _he's _not there but trying to be careful not to be too obvious, Marissa inquired about the changes since she was gone. "So…how're things going with Oats & Sparkle?"

Summer and Anna can't contain their excitement when it comes to talking about Oats & Sparkle. It was their little business venture together. Oats & Sparkle bonded Anna and Summer while Marissa was away. Oats & Sparkle healed the wounds and mended the misunderstandings in the past. Anna became Summer's second bestfriend.

It was Summer who answered first and talked liked a complete businesswoman which generated smirks and smiles across the table. "As I've told you over the emails and phone calls, O&S is doing fine. Since we've opened the first store in New York, there's been a great demand to open more stores and Anna and I can't wait!"

"But we were taking baby steps so we waited before we opened the second store." Anna adds.

"That's why we're here. We just opened the second store in LA. Thanks to Cohen's success on OC Comics, we got sponsorships and endorsements……Oh my god Coop, you have no idea how it was like to see the clothes being worn everywhere! And I mean everywhere!"

"Gwen Stefani, Keira Knightley and Gwyneth Paltrow are big fans" Anna added cheerfully.

Wary about the conversation they were having, Seth blurted out: "I get all the credits for being in touch with my inner gayness to design those comics inspired shirts. Inner gayness, Marissa. Beat that."

Sandy never ceasing to lose the humor, added: "Ah! That's the spirit!"

Seth, confused at what Sandy means, snaps back: "What? Being Gay and Jew at the same time?"

It was the usual Newport humor that Marissa missed the most. Sure there had been a fair share of dramas here and there -well maybe more dramas- but it was the people, these people around her…..and _him_, that made it possible and easier to live -especially in this town. It was their own personalities, guidance and _love_ that she misses the most and can never find anywhere else. This is her family. _He is her life_.

Kirsten, feeling contemplative, said, "Well, I just wish Ryan's here with us."

_This is it_, Marissa thought.

"He told me he'll be in the Hampton's with Bridgette and won't be back until Friday evening." Anna answered, completely forgetting Marissa's presence.

_Who the hell is Bridgette?!_

"Who's Bridgette? I thought he's dating Natalie" Sandy asked.

"A month ago." Kirsten answered.

"Jeez. I am so late with dating updates." Sandy jokingly said.

"No. I thought it was that Victoria's Secret model Kyra. She's hot." Julie suggested with a wink.

"She was three weeks ago." Anna clarified.

"I can't keep up!" Neil remarked.

Seeing the hidden pain behind her bestfriend's eyes and knowing that they've lost her with their conversation, "Now that's a sore subject." Summer commented.

Everybody fell quiet and Julie exhaled before explaining to Marissa, "I'm sorry honey. After Ryan had the procedure….."

Looking at Summer, Marissa asked quizzically: "Procedure? What procedure?"

Summer fidgeted on her seat and tried her best to avoid the unavoidable. "Now that's something I forgot to mention on the emails and phone calls……"

Sensing the incoming conversation is strictly for adults only, Kirsten told Sarah that since she had too much apple pie, it's a good idea that she and Gareth go upstairs to Seth's room and play video games there. The kids protested the idea but eventually left after Neil told Gareth and Sarah that he'll take them toy shopping tomorrow.

As soon as the kids are out of sight and hearing, Julie reached out to hold Marissa's hand before she explains and drop the bomb. "Sweetheart, Ryan had this procedure. He got all his memories of you erased from his memory".

Neil added, "He won't be able to remember you _even if he sees you now_."

Shocked at what she's hearing and confused of the details she's being fed, Marissa tried to reach for something to hold on. Anna, sitting next to Marissa, immediately offered her hand and Marissa took it. "H-how?...W-why?"

"He decided to forget about you after what happened in Bordeaux……remember? When he came to see you and found out you're with that Jean somebody." Summer explained.

"No. I think his name is Guy." Seth clarified, then sensing his clarification was unwanted, "…..Sorry."

"He participated on a memory erasing experiment in Berkeley which succeeded." Sandy added.

Seth knew he needs to regain Marissa, "If it's any consolation, Ryan did tried his best to forget you but you're just as sticky as a bumper sticker." Seth paused. "Okay, bad metaphor."

Kirsten reached out to Marissa and said, "He informed us about his plans and we all tried our best to talk him out into doing it but he already made his decision."

Marissa still can't fathom the gravity of what she had just been told, she started crying while trying so hard to look strong. "But…..why would Ryan do that?!"

"I'm sorry Marissa, but you broke his heart. You broke his heart too many times. Maybe he can't take it anymore and he felt the need to find himself and start over so he resorted to Eternal Sunshine-ing you out of his head." Seth tried to explain as simple as possible.

_His Life_, Marissa thought painfully, _He erased me from his life_.

Julie and Marissa developed a closer bond during the time Marissa was away and Julie is aware of how much Marissa still loves Ryan despite the time, space and lack of communication between the two of them. Seeing her daughter now, taking all the news about Ryan that they all kept from her to honour Ryan's request and Marissa's improvement, it troubles her to acknowledge the fact that Marissa actually went back home to get back with him now that she has found herself and straighten her life. Now that Marissa is _a whole new Marissa_……and Ryan was the reason why she is what she is right now.

On the east side of the country, up in the Hampton's, Ryan Atwood woke up naked beside a blonde girl. He whispered something on her ear which made the girl laugh, stand up, put her robe on and dance in front of him. Ryan watched in amazement and then the girl walked across the room, slipped off of her robe which dropped on the floor and wink at Ryan before entering the bathroom.

Ryan smiled and said, "Somebody wants to play so early in the morning."

Meanwhile on the west side of the country, Julie hugged a crying Marissa as Sandy, Seth and Neil stood up and went outside.

"Honey, I'm sorry to have kept it from you. We thought it was best for you. For both of you. I saw how Ryan was after seeing you. He was a mess and you, you were doing great sailing, getting a college degree and finding yourself. Believe it or not, Ryan and I are getting along now, but that's another story…."

Kirsten smiled at Julie's last remark. Julie in turn smiled back at Kirsten sheepishly.

Summer approached Marissa and hugged her. "Well I guess it really is a whole new beginning for you, Coop."

"Summer, you don't understand." Marissa said while crying on her bestfriend's shoulder.

"Awww. Of course I understand, Coop. But you gotta admit it. Ryan started his life on his own again in New York and you should too now that you're back."

"Maybe it was just not meant to be." Anna commented.

Marissa cried for another couple of minutes while she comes into terms with what she had just learned and then a glimmer of hope, _a thought_, struck her.

"Summ, do you have a spare room?"

Confused at what Marissa means, Julie inquired: "Sweetheart what do you mean?"

Wiping her tears with the back of her hand, "In New York, you do have a spare room in your apartment right?"

Summer, confused herself, and trying to catch up on what Marissa was thinking, turned to Anna and said: "Y-yeah….we do have one right?"

Anna nodded and turned to Marissa and said, "I live alone next door. You can stay with me."

Julie butted in. "I'm confused. Are you trying to tell us that you're moving to New York to see Ryan?"

Knowing that she doesn't have a concrete reason on why she's going to move to New York, "I don't know. Maybe. I don't know." Marissa answered.

Summer torn between knowing full well Marissa's intentions and the excitement of having her bestfriend close to her again, could only blurt out: "Oh boy! This sounds like one of the episodes on The Pier! Oh my god Coop! You're moving to New York! You're moving next door!"

Everybody laughed at Summer's remark and Anna and Marissa hugged and said to each other, "Housemates!"

Like on cue, Seth enters the kitchen and overhears Marissa's plan and could only say, "Seems like the Fantastic Four will be Fantastic again."'

Julie looked at Kirsten. "I'm not sure if I like the idea."


	2. Truth Be Told

**DISCLAIMER:** None of the _The OC_ characters belong to me. Not even the show.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **Thanks to the following people who reviewed this: **meehgadoi**, **mel087**, **01ryanlover**, s**noopygal16**. Hope you all continue to review and tell me whether to continue or not.

* * *

It could have been another busy New York day for Summer had it not been for the presence of Marissa. She never thought in a million years that she'd be able to warm up in the East Coast. Summer Roberts has always been the West Coast Daddy's Girl from Newport. After the whirlwind time she spent on Brown, juggling her neurotic relationship with Seth as he went to RISD and her complete metamorphosis into being All for Green Summer, she never thought there's more out there to happen. She has always thought that she had it all fall into places. But now that Marissa's back and living in New York -next door to her- she's not very sure if things will still be falling into places like she always thought. And now, Summer needs to embrace herself for the unavoidable shake up that's bound to happen as she signs the paperwork over the counter of Oats & Sparkle. 

"We need to ship the new collection to LA by Friday night." Anna told her as she arranges their bestseller Dish collection of shirts.

"Signing it." Summer answered.

"Hey guys, I think we should all go eat dinner together on Friday." Seth suggested.

"Not a bad idea." Anna agreed happily.

"You up for it Coop?"

"Yeah sure…..I can't believe you guys are actually doing this. I'm so proud of both of you." Marissa commented as she looks over the sets of clothes, shoes and bags on the store.

"Thanks Coop. Three years into business and we still can't believe we're actually here! In New York!" Summer responded with full honesty.

Just as Marissa was about to say something, the screeching sound of a Saturn Curve ripped the silence. It stopped and parked outside the store. The door of O&S opened and Ryan Atwood, dressed in a suit and trench coat, entered holding a take out set of coffee and pastries from Starbucks. He approached his friends and laid down the set on the counter. "I figured everybody would be here."

"I think it's more of a bribe for bailing out on us last week" Anna told him.

"Sorry guys, work calls." Ryan answered sincerely.

Marissa looked over to reassure herself that it's Ryan. _Her Ryan_. After making sure it's actually him, Marissa can't figure out what she'd do next. Should she approach him? Hug and kiss him the way she has been imagining for the past seven years? Say "Hey!" like nothing happened? Introduce herself as "Marissa, the Love of Your Life"? Either way, none of these sounds rational and none of these helped ease the mixed feelings she has inside and she froze on her steps looking over to him as he talk to Seth, Anna and Summer. She can't help admiring him from afar. Ryan almost looks the same, save for the growing stubble, –the blond hair, piercing blue eyes and the smile, _that smile_, Marissa craved to see all these years.

Summer never thought the big shake up she was thinking about a few minutes ago would actually start now. Sensing the urgency to get hold of the situation, she nudged Anna with her elbow who was standing next to her over the counter. Anna glared at Seth who in turn chatted Ryan up with his usual nonsense morning blabbering as Summer approached Marissa to grab her and lead her to the group. The tension increased between Seth, Summer and Anna as Marissa stood a few feet away from Ryan.

Oblivious of the tension, Ryan addressed Anna, "I need a new bed."

"What?" Anna asked in astonishment.

"I need a new one. It…..it broke this morning."

"Have you been sleeping with Barbarella and you're not telling me?!" Seth sarcastically told Ryan.

"Seth….."

"C'mon man!"

"Who's Barbarella?!" a confused Summer asked.

"You don't wanna know." Anna answered. "So Gisele is too much of a Wonderwoman, huh?"

"I'm not going to see her again. She broke my bed what else can she break in the future?!" Ryan announced uncomfortably to them.

"Now that, my brother, is an image I don't want to get." Seth told Ryan as he punched Ryan on his arm.

Summer knew it's time to stop avoiding the unavoidable. She needs to introduce Marissa to Ryan before things get out of hand in the future if she doesn't take the opportunity.

Summer stood next to Marissa and looked at Ryan. "Ryan we want you to meet------".

Summer was cut off as Ryan's mobile phone rang. He signaled an excuse and grabbed his mobile phone from his pocket. He looked at the caller's name quizzically before answering the phone. "Hey baby!...I'm sorry. I didn't forget to call you…..I just saw you two hours ago!...….No I don't think I can make it to dinner tonight…. I'd be caught up with work …..I'll call you ok?...Bye."

Marissa could only look at the other three in the store in amazement who in turn returned a look of dumbfounded sympathy. Marissa's heart was breaking inside with every word Ryan utters. She's breaking inside with every second she spends next to him knowing that she can't hold him, kiss him and call him _Her Ryan_. Up until now, she still can't understand how Ryan could agree to go through a procedure which would require him to erase a part of his memory. She can't understand why her? Why _their memories_……

Just as Ryan ends the call all the other four hasn't uttered a word or moved an inch. "It's Gisele. She wants---- " his phone rang again and he answered it. "Hey man….Yeah I'm on my way….On my way. You just hang in there ok? I'll talk to Mr. Saboro when I get there. I'll be there in ten minutes." Ryan hanged up the phone and looked up. "Sorry guys---"

"Work calls." Seth said glumly.

"Yeah." was what Ryan could only answer. He nodded towards Summer. "Summer, what was it you were saying?"

Seth and Anna looked at each other as Summer begins to introduce Marissa. "Ryan, I want you to meet Marissa."

Ryan Atwood looked at the beautiful woman standing in front of him. He has never seen a woman as stunning as she is. Having the architect instinct in him, he evaluated this Marissa he was just introduced to. She has a perfect bone structure, flowing blonde hair, the most gorgeous expressive blue-green eyes and the most beautiful smile he has ever seen in his twenty five years of living. Everything was perfect about her and he stared at her for few good seconds before Anna's fingers snaps him back to reality. "Ryan!"

Ryan knew a beautiful woman like this Marissa can't break the rough-killer smile and hot body-gentle Ryan Atwood façade he's known for. Not this Marissa. _Hell no, I can get a woman like her anytime_, he thought. Ryan decided to play it cool and cold. He doesn't know anything about this Marissa and he suspects this is another ploy by his main three to stop him from dating models and "other women", as Summer calls it. The Main Three has been his dating police for the past seven years and 70 of the time, they don't like the girl he's dating. _This Marissa _could well be another one of those girls from Kirsten and Julie's Newport Match the main three picked for him to date. _Alright, cool and cold_, he thought. He waved at Marissa and took a step to shake her hand. _Smooth skin_, he thought to himself.

"Hi, Marissa." He said with a wink and that killer shy smile all those women he dated fell for.

Marissa was nervous with excitement that she could hear her own heart treble and can't stop a big nervous smile from showing across her face_. This is Her Ryan_. Since Ryan can't recognize her and she noticed that he actually took a few good seconds at looking at her before he shook her hand, Marissa thought that it's a good start. She thought she'd play it warm and sassy. "And you are?"

"Ryan, Ryan Atwood." He stammered.

"Nice to meet you Ryan Ryan Atwood."

"Actually it's just Ryan Atwood……." He stared at her for a few more seconds before he shifted his gaze back at Summer.

"Chino, you're still holding her hand." Summer commented smiling. Ryan noticed he actually is still shaking Marissa's hand and let go.

_Now there's your playing it cool and cold_, he kidded himself.

Seth knew it's time to go for the kill. "Hey man, we're going to have dinner together on Friday. If you'd bail on us again for Barbarella…."

"I'm not sure man, I got work, but I'll give you a call" Ryan said as he turned to exit the store.

"Don't bail on us Chino." Anna called out.

"If you can get me a new bed by afternoon, I'll be in time for dinner on Friday." Ryan reasoned out, opened the store door and stop. "Thanks PA!" Ryan closed the door and road off on his Saturn Curve which turned heads on the streets.

Marissa, confused, asked "PA?!"

"Pittsburgh Anna" Summer replied.

"I gotta get to work before they start casting pantyless head shaving popstars for Nitro Girl." Seth said as he kissed Summer goodbye, grab his coffee and bagels, and exited the store just as Nadine, the O&S store manager arrived.

"Subway's being the usual bitch of my day." Nadine retorted as she stripped off her jacket and reviewed the set of documents left for her by Summer and Anna to mail to the Oats & Sparkle east coast distributor. "You girls will be out for the day?"

Summer and Anna nodded at her.

"Coop, Nadine's going to handle the store for us. In the meantime, the three of us can go shopping and what not."

"Sure. That's cool. What do you guys have in store for me?"

Anna glanced at Summer and Summer looked back at her with a nod of assurance. _A lot_, were the two words they both have inside their heads.

_It's time_.

* * *

Meanwhile on Atwood Developments and Properties Inc., Ryan slumped on his office chair in exhaustion as he tried to fight a building headache. He just got out of a meeting with the representative of a Japanese firm he's dealing with. The meeting went fine like he predicted, save for the painful way of communicating with the Japanese representative. Ryan had to talk and explain to the translator before he could get a reply from Mr. Saboro. 

He loosened his tie to breathe properly just as Clarisse, his trusted assistant, knocked and entered the door. "Banking up more millions, Sir?"

Ryan laughed at Clarisse's comment. "Is that a call for a raise?"

"Maybe." They both laughed as Clarisse approached Ryan's table with sets of documents on colored folders. "You need to review and sign these. Half of these are from Mr. Cohen."

"Sandy never fails to remind me to beat that Brea proposal on the east coast."

"I think you'd get it anyway."

"Thanks Clarisse." Ryan told her as she exited his office.

Ryan went on document reading for the next seven minutes when his office phone rang. Knowing full well who's calling, he automatically put it on loudspeaker and continued his reading and signing of papers. "Seth."

"Hey man, what's up?"

"Don't what's up me. I just saw you four hours ago."

"Look I know you're banking up millions by the minute as you sit there on your swanky bleach sprayed geometrically perfect office but it's lunch. Save your "Work Calls" speech –you know I never believe that. How about some brotherly for old times sake Seth-Ryan time?"

"Alright, alright. I'll meet you at Dryden's in ten."

"Very good." Seth commented before hanging up.

Ryan hanged up, grabbed his jacket and told Clarisse he'll be out on lunch.

Seth was in Dryden's in five minutes since the billiards café was just a couple of blocks from OC Comics. He already ordered two burger platters and told Jim, the café keeper, to reserve a pool table for him and Ryan. Ryan arrived a few minutes after and told Seth he can't stay long. They ate and talked as they played a few rounds of pool.

Seth knows full well he needs to start investigating about Ryan's meeting with Marissa just as what Summer's text message told him. "So….what can you say about Marissa?"

"What about her?"

"She's tall, blonde, obviously pretty, model looking. Your type."

"Yeah she's pretty…..hot…."

"So you like her?"

"You said she's my type….but my hands are full, man."

"That's my brother there. I like the old you. Newport Ryan: Brooding, sensitive and ready to punch anyone."

"People change, Seth."

"I know man." Seth paused before continuing. "Listen, just go slow with Marissa. Just be sure you really like her before you start trying to get into her pants."

"What's up with all these pep talk about her?"

"She's Summer's sister."

"Sister?! The one she keeps on calling Coop all these time?"

Seth nodded and saw Ryan get all confused. "Oh. So how come I've never met her?"

Seth, even with his bad lying behavior can't find a good reason to say. "I don't know. Maybe you just can't remember meeting her. She lived in France with her dad."

"Oh." Ryan took a shot at the pool table but continued to wonder why he can't remember meeting Marissa. A girl that beautiful sure can never leave his eyes. Maybe he had met her before, spoke to her…_but where_? He kicked aside the idea. He sure had more morning after amnesias than he could remember where he wakes up beside a stranger he must have met on a party or one of those models he meets and sleeps with when he hangs out on Oats & Sparkle.

_Whatever, I guess I'll see more of her anyway_, he thought.

* * *

Anna, Summer and Marissa went shopping for a while before settling down on Patroon for lunch. Anna knows full well that things could get ugly in the next few minutes once she and Summer start telling Marissa the truth -the truth she should have known three years ago when Summer and Anna went over to St. Tropez for vacation and bonding time with Marissa- that's why they've let Marissa pick the bed Ryan requested for that morning. The girls can't help but notice how serious Marissa was when choosing the bed for Ryan. Summer would often reason out that she just have to pick one since Ryan is not fussy at all and it's not like Marissa would be sleeping on it anytime soon. Marissa told both girls that if there's someone out there who knew Ryan as much as he knew himself, it would be her and she'd take her time as much as she wants to. 

"I hope you don't mind the Merlot. The French rubbed in on me." Marissa told her bestfriends as they noticed the sophisticated choice of drink for their lunch date.

"As long as you don't pass out on us like in TJ, we'll be fine." Summer laughingly answered. The girls laughed and started eating.

"Oh, when Ryan carried me on his arms to safety?!" Marissa said dreamily.

"Yeah, when you were almost raped and died on an alley. Nice memories Coop." Summer sarcastically commented at Marissa.

"What kind of girls has he been dating?!" Marissa asked, segueing the conversation.

"Chino's a modelizer. Majority of the girls he dates are models." Summer retorted. "You see, he's one of the most wanted bachelors here in New York. He gets invited to parties and fashion shows. Young, Hot and Rich. He's a model magnet."

"You should have seen that article they did on him last year on People." Anna raised both of her arms and made an imaginary signboard. "Ryan Atwood, New York's hottest architect is a sex on legs."

The girls laughed hysterically and Marissa realized how far Ryan has come since being that homeless kid neophyte in Newport. Sure, Marissa noticed he dresses well nowadays if what she saw of him that morning could tell. He seems gentler now albeit the old Ryan roughness is still there. All those pain and hate he's been carrying with him behind his eyes back in Newport seven years ago were gone when she looked straight at him that morning. It's a more mature whole new Ryan and that whole new Ryan met the whole new Marissa in her. She can't help to feel that _she just fell more in love with him_.

The girls finished their lunch and ordered dessert. Marissa noticed that Anna and Summer fell silent after they talked about the girls Ryan has dated. She can't help noticing that there's something they've been meaning to tell her and she decided to ask it herself to break the tension. "Is there something wrong?"

"Not really. There's just something you have to know but we want you to know it's nothing now. It's over and everybody has moved on." Anna assured her.

"After finding out Ryan erased every single memory he had of me and him, there's nothing more devastating than that." Marissa admitted to them.

"Coop, we understand. We just think that you should know before things fall right again between you and Ryan. It's just something that has happened in the past. You're the new Marissa now and we know you'd understand." Summer pointed out.

"You guys are making me nervous. C'mon, tell me. I'm not that old vulnerable pill popping alcoholic anymore. If there's anything I've been since I was away, I've matured and ready to face anything thrown my way."

"Okay, good." Anna said under her breath as she looked at Summer for support who in turn nodded at her in assurance. She took a deep breath before dropping the bomb. "Ryan and I used to be married."

"What?!?!" Marissa asked in bewilderment

"They got married three years ago but they're already divorced, Marissa. It's nothing now." Summer rushed in to explain.

"H-how? W-why? Is this a joke?"

"No it's not."

"So that's why you kept on avoiding me whenever I asked who you were dating when we were in St. Tropez?" Marissa addressed Anna.

"Yes. I knew you'd be upset. Ryan and I dated, we got married….it was crazy." Anna quickly answered.

Marissa can't believe the things they just told her. This feels like the moment she was told Ryan would never be able to remember her even if he sees her. It was all déjà vu. It was another heartbreak for her. All she wants is to stay away from them, take her time, breathe and think about what she was just told. She stood up and began to leave, "You guys are unbelievable."

Anna knew the gravity of the new information they just told Marissa is not for the faint of heart. All she could do was call out Marissa's name to explain as she leaves the restaurant. Summer told her Marissa may need time to think about it and that she can feel that Marissa may come around sooner than they think and realize that it's all in the past. They just have to give her credit.

* * *

A couple of days have past and Marissa hasn't spoken to Anna. She stayed in Seth and Summer's apartment next door thinking and coming into terms as Seth and Summer explain to her everything. Ryan and Anna became close when Ryan moved to New York to accept a job offer from his former professor in Berkeley. The professor was so impressed at Ryan that he made Ryan his prodigy. It wasn't long before Ryan opened his own architectural firm. Seth, Summer and Anna were already in New York when Ryan moved in with them. Seth opened OC Comics with his RISD friends while Summer and Anna started building Oats & Sparkle. Summer and Seth were so busy with each other which left Ryan and Anna closer. Eventually, they became bestfriends and that's when the name calling "Pittsburgh Anna" and "Chino Ryan" started. They fell in love, or so they think they did, and got married. It wasn't long before they both realized that their marriage was not working and they got divorced. 

Marissa finally understood everything and prepared to face Anna. She went to Oats & Sparkle on that cold Thursday night as it closes down. Anna was left closing the store as Summer went on a dinner meeting with a potential San Francisco distributor and Nadine checked out early to attend her daughter's play downtown. Marissa stood behind the store window observing Anna and thinking about she'd say to her. She entered the store just as Anna told her that the store's about to close.

"It is now." Marissa said as she reversed the sign on the store door.

Anna stopped arranging the clothes on the rack and approached Marissa. "Listen, first of all, I want to say sorry if I kept it from you. I can never justify that part or the part when I married Ryan. Second of all, I want you to know I'm not going to stand on your way. In fact, I'd help you as much as I can…. If you want me to, of course."

"You were Mrs. Atwood. Who would have thought." Marissa replied.

"I was for five months. There's nothing more uncomfortable and disturbing as being married to your bestfriend. The marriage was a spur of the moment thing. We didn't think about it. The divorce was amicable."

"I understand, Anna. It's just so weird thinking about it."

"I know, but you get past it. Everybody did." Anna told her smiling. She continued, "If there's anything I know that is not weird is you and Ryan belonging to each other. You know, if there's anything I learned from the time Seth and I were together….there's fate when you get surprised to see someone with the same pair of shoes as yours, who wears the same tee, who also drinks your favorite frappucino, who listens to that same music that you always play, who thinks the way you do..….then you'll realize that you're still two different people living two different lives. He just walked in on the same line. After all, everything could be nothing fateful but just a cruel cosmic joke."

"Thanks Anna." Marissa said as she approached Anna to hug her.

They hugged and let go of each other. "But Ryan and Marissa is not a cosmic joke -no matter how combustible it is."

Marissa laughed at Anna's remark and they closed the store together.


End file.
